Second Week of February

SUNDAY
Was supposed to have a sewing party with friend… Instead ended up wrapped up in blankets with Kleenex and orange juice handy, watching Super Bowl commercials and playing on my iPod. Interrupted occasionally by brother-in-law wanting to know correct format for reference citations in APA style. I don’t believe in APA style, but I helped him out anyway. (Me = strange collection of useless English teacher-type info.) Super Bowl was depressing; apparently I am the only person within 20 miles rooting for the Colts. Will drown my sorrows in an episode of “Foyle’s War” on Mystery.


MONDAY
Resolution Report: I was quite successful last week – no Starbucks stops on ANY mornings. Classroom Coffee Maker and I are getting along just fine, although I confess to feeling a bit of boredom in that relationship. There were mornings this week on which I desperately felt the need to spice things up… I fear Coffee Maker does not share my need for things to be new and interesting.

I used my SSR (silent sustained reading) time in ESP class to proofread my brother-in-law’s 7-page term paper on the pathophysiology, diagnosis, and treatment of thoracic aortic dissection. (I didn’t know pathophysiology was a real word!) I keep telling Mr. Chandler that his brother is the most functional person in his family, but I don’t think he really believed me until I showed him the term paper.

Mr. Chandler’s brother is finishing up his paramedic program and is ready to start his clinicals. He works in the emergency room at Providence St. Vincent in Beaverton, and when he had the chance to apply for a better job elsewhere, he chose not to because he valued the emergency room experience, in spite of the crazy hours and minimal pay. He is incredibly self-motivated. He dropped out of high school because it was stupid (no, seriously), but finished high school at a local community college and graduated (with a diploma, not a GED) earlier than he would have if he’d remained at David Douglas. He married his high school sweetheart and got out of his crazy family as quickly as he possibly could, but manages to remain on good terms with them – from a safe distance. His term paper is due in May, and he wants to turn it in next week – to “get it out of the way.” (What word means “the opposite of procrastination”?) The term paper is well-written and full of medical information that I had no idea he knew, explained in ways of which I didn’t realize he was capable. He’s an amazing guy, as evidenced by the fact that I spent an entire day’s blog entry talking about him. (What word means “the opposite of Mrs. Chandler ranting”?)


TUESDAY
So the 7th grade state writing test is next week. For the past 6 years, I’ve spent this week of February panicking, stressing, worrying, etc. This year, in addition to worrying about the test and my students’ performance on said test, I have the added stress of being in a new school where they CARE about the test scores. (Seriously. They really, really care.) Now, in my previous school, I had to go to great lengths to make sure that the test went smoothly. I reminded the staff, posted signs in the hall, locked my door during testing, worked with administrators to test kids who were about to be suspended before they had to leave school, worked with the nursing assistant to test kids who were about to be excluded from school for not having their immunizations, reminded the staff again, threw fits when people scheduled field trips during the test, and so on… Today, I sat in the staff meeting and wondered whether I should say something about the test being next week. The principal finally mentioned it, but no one really paid attention. I was also worried about the immunization exclusion problem and about getting the tests BEFORE the test was actually supposed to start. When I spoke to the testing coordinator and the principal after the meeting, I was pleasantly surprised. Before I could even ask, the testing coordinator told me I would get the tests the day before. When I mentioned the immunization exclusion date, the principal said he’d already checked with the nurse and talked with the parents of the few 7th graders on it. When I finally picked my jaw up off the ground, I said, “You guys have to stop this, or I’m not going to have anything to stress about.”

Now I’m just stressing about meeting the expectations of this school. I have no doubt that the scores from this year will be the best any of MY students have ever received. What worries me is that my scores will be compared to the scores of the two other 7th grade teachers in the building, as well as to the scores from previous years at this school. On one hand, I’m terrified. On the other hand, I keep thinking that there’s no way my scores could be as bad as the other 7th grade teachers, especially since I’ve done more writing instruction than the other two have. Then I swing back to being terrified because it doesn’t matter if my scores are better than theirs if ALL of our scores are lower… Good grief. Now I’m going to have a confused panic attack.


WEDNESDAY
Midway through first period today, I felt like my battery was drained of its last drop of energy. I had serious concerns about driving home. (Have you ever tried to drive when you’re running a fever and have zero strength?) I hate the timing of this, although it’s better than getting sick next week during the writing test, I guess. I’m going home to collapse.

THURSDAY
I have this wretched sense of déjà vu. Didn’t we do this whole sick thing last month?

FRIDAY
I’m back at school today – mostly because I have to be. Today in homeroom, my students were making fun of me because I have some catch phrases that I use all the time, and now they can all quote me. “I don’t believe in that” is one of my catch phrases. I use it for things like saying no when a student asks to leave without a hall pass (usually because the forgotten pass was left in a locker). Frequently I forget to read the morning announcements to my homeroom, so when kids ask, I’ve started saying, “No, I don’t believe in that.” (Secretly, I do believe in it. I'm just a flake.) Today, one of my kids turned to another (who had just asked a question) and said, “She doesn’t believe in that.” Another kid immediately added, “Yeah, like she doesn’t believe in standing in lines.”

Now, I wanted to object on the grounds that I shouldn’t be mocked for that. When I use that phrase, I’m only trying to be funny. But in the seconds immediately following these comments (in which I was trying desperately to come up with a snappy comeback), I realized that it’s actually true. I don’t believe in standing in lines. I don’t mind sitting in line or sitting and waiting my turn, but if I have to stand with other people, I’ll just skip it or I’ll stay in my spot until the line is almost nonexistent before walking up to take my turn. This prompted me to think about my rather unique belief system, which includes things like:

I don’t believe in OnStar (don’t even get me started!).
I don’t believe in Nicholas Sparks books/movies (because life is not depressing enough already?).
I believe in dogs.
I don’t believe in Survivor. I never have.
I believe that MTV is the unacknowledged creator of the modern reality TV show. (Hello, Road Rules was on back when I was in high school!)
I don’t believe in CSI anymore – too gory and graphic for me. But apparently now I believe in NCIS. (I know, it was a surprise to me too.)
I’ve NEVER believed in Family Guy.
I believe in soy, but not tofu. (That’s mostly because I don’t know what it is. I wonder if it’s actually soy…? That might rock my entire belief system.)
I don’t believe in family reunions or class reunions.
I believe in rodeo, but Portland doesn’t…
I don’t believe in wearing jeans on school days.

That’s as far as I got before I realized that my class was staring at me. They were probably waiting for me to deliver the expected snappy comeback, while I was lost in my own little world. Fortunately, they’re used to me making a fool of myself.