First Week of February

MONDAY
Resolution Report: I’m back on track! After a couple detours last week (Monday and Thursday), I’ve gotten re-acquainted with my classroom coffee maker. I even bought some good coffee this weekend.


TUESDAY
I love Tuesdays and Thursdays in ESP (homeroom). We are doing a Read Aloud of Zen and the Art of Faking It by Jordan Sonnenblick. It’s about a kid who reinvents himself when he moves to a new state/town/school. The narrator of the book is a middle school boy with a very funny, sarcastic voice that is entertaining for me to read. I hope the kids think it’s funny. I know they’re surprised sometimes to hear Mrs. Chandler’s voice reading about the hot girl at the library help desk or how lame the English teacher is. I think it’s hilarious. Sometimes I feel inspired to do separate voices for the characters… This is a really bad idea for me because by Thursday I will totally forget what sort of voice I used for each person on Tuesday. I think the story would make an entertaining movie, but it would be challenging to convey the richness of the narration in film. Maybe I’ll work on that. You know… in all my spare time.


WEDNESDAY
The acting superintendent of our school district has chosen today to visit our school. On the surface, I have no problem with this; she’s always been very nice to me. She’s been in my classroom before (for a few minutes each time), and once I even got her to quiz a couple students to help them review for a vocabulary quiz. If this goes like the previous superintendent’s visit in the fall, the principal will probably walk her around to every single classroom, for about 3 minutes each. It’s nothing to be nervous about… So why am I so anxious about this?


MURPHY’S LAW
I seem to have this “Murphy’s Law” thing going this year. (Murphy’s Law Mini-Lesson: “Everything that CAN go wrong WILL go wrong.”) In my case, I suffer from a distasteful variation of this law: “Anything remotely unpleasant that CAN happen to me WILL happen to me.”
You doubt? A few examples: On the last day of school before winter break, I should have been celebrating. But my mother chose that day – of all days – to send me a letter explaining all the ways that I’m a horrible person. (Side note for skeptics who don't believe the timing was on purpose: I have received nasty letters or emails or phone calls from my mother on the last day of school before winter break AND on the last day of school before spring break for the last three years in a row. Coincidence? I think not.) My very first time EVER being called for jury duty was this September, and mine was the first name called in the jury room, the first name called in the courtroom for seating – from a supposedly randomized list – and the first name called when they announced the chosen jury members. Of course it was. When the previous superintendent visited this fall, he and my principal walked in while I was doing a little dance with a poster. (Never mind why… The point here is my mortification and their unbelievably unfortunate timing.)

The newest superintendent is visiting our school today, and I’m supposed to be teaching my students about one of the most controversial world religions. It does not bode well for me…


STILL WEDNESDAY
Good grief. So the superintendent walked in while my kids were silent reading. We were just about to move on, so I gave instructions about what they needed for the next activity… and instead of being the well-behaved students who make transitions quickly and quietly like they normally are, they all started talking to each other! The principal did NOT accompany the superintendent (unfortunately for me, as this would actually have kept my kids quiet). She did not get to see me giving any direct content instruction. She did not see my kids writing. She saw them at their worst, and then she left. Why does the universe hate me?


THURSDAY
I let my students work in groups today. I hate this… I’m such a control freak in the classroom, and they just sit around and chat about the latest 7th grade drama. (They’re 12! How could they have that much drama already?) But I went ahead and let them work in groups. In each of my three classes, I had one or two groups that were off-task. The rest did very well. In one of my classes, I went to the two noisy groups and I pointed out that all of the noise in the classroom was coming from only those two groups. They were appalled and quieted down… for about 2 minutes. Seventh graders have the attention span of a gnat.


FRIDAY
The current district scuttlebutt is that we have $1,000,000 to spend on professional development by the end of August. I just don’t understand this. How can we randomly find millions of dollars lying around (again), and how can it only be spent on professional development (again)? For those of you who aren’t in the education field, professional development is a fancy term for inservice meetings. That’s right; we have one million dollars to spend on meetings. It’s like all of the people in charge of district money went to the same training and were told to hide their money in a sock – and then forgot which sock it was in. Never mind sound accounting practices; accounting is for weenies who actually want to keep track of their money. We don't believe in that stuff, apparently.

I have to stop talking about this. This is going to be one of those things that I can’t talk about because it makes me too angry and I’ll start ranting about it – like OnStar. (Stupid government spying on us through stupid OnStar in our stupid cars...)