Second Week of May

Monday
After a long weekend of outdoor work, I find myself lacking the motivation to do anything remotely responsible this evening. We spent Saturday travelling around to get the various ingredients necessary for a cute flowerbed and added a couple of rain barrels in the process, something I’ve been wanting for a long time. Then we spent the rest of the weekend planting and cleaning off the patio. And now I just want to sit out here and enjoy the flowers and the fountain and the bumblebees fluttering around the lavender. Dishes? Laundry? Housework? What housework? I have outdoor chores – like watching Little Dog trot around the perimeter of the yard (stopping each time to pee on the same little flower, which, I’m fairly sure, will not survive). I’m taking a lesson from Big Dog, who is currently sitting among the rosemary bushes, sniffing the wind and basking in the sunshine.


Tuesday
I kept two of my worst kids after school for detention today. One of them spent most of detention saying things like, “What would happen to me if I walk out during detention?” and “I hate this school. I hope it burns down.” In a random moment of wisdom, I managed to ignore him during all of these obnoxious little comments. I figured that he was looking for a reaction, and I was not going to give him one. (This is like a Life Lesson or Major Rule or something: If you can’t be appropriate when you speak to me, then I don’t have to continue the conversation!) It worked well, and when he suddenly turned to his social studies book and asked me what page he needed to start on, I promptly provided him with a calm answer. He stared at me for a second, and then turned back to his homework. The other boy, who has virtually no mental filter and an endless supply of tricks for avoiding the task at hand, turned to me and asked, “Are you ignoring him until he asks a homework-related question?” Both boys waited for my answer, so I smiled and said, “How many things have you labeled on your map?”

These boys are enough to make a person wish for a career change. This one particular student has been driving me nuts all year. He spent half of the year tormenting my math/science partner until they pulled him out of her class. I sometimes feel like my calm classroom presence works against me – it provides the “powers that be” with an excuse to leave him in my class. “Let’s not mess with his schedule. Mrs. Chandler can handle him.” So because I handle my discipline problems in the classroom (and don’t have many in the first place), I get stuck with the psychos.

During the endless detention experience today, I had to keep reminding myself that I’m not doing this because I expect one detention to change their personalities. I’m doing this because inappropriate behavior requires consequences. And I’m doing this to create the appropriate paper trail so that when I write the referrals that are coming, the administrators will take the situation more seriously because of the consequences I’ve already tried with these students. It’s just a paper trail. That’s all it is. If they happen to get some of their missing work taken care of in the process, that's an unexpected benefit. I can't call it a bonus or the cherry on top or anything like that... those phrases imply that I'm having a good time or that I'm getting something positive from these detentions. I'm not. They suck more for me than they do for the students.


Wednesday
This is crazy. We had a review session today for a big quiz they’re taking on Friday. I let the students work in teams for the review session, so they were gathered in groups around the room. I have three classes of students for an hour and a half each during my teaching day. During my first class, there was a crazy moment when one of my students got so excited about knowing the answer to a question that he bounced up and down in his seat. As he came back down toward the seat of his chair, he missed the chair and slid off onto the floor, his feet and legs flying up into the air. (He was okay; he thought it was kind of funny.)

I am not writing about this to make fun of my student; this is only part one of today’s story. During my second class, as we went through the same review in groups, there was a rather intense moment when one of my students got frustrated because his team got an answer wrong. He slammed his fist down on the desk, but the force sort of pushed him backwards. Because he was sitting sideways in his chair, he slid backward off the seat and onto the floor, his feet and legs flying up into the air. (He was okay; he thought it was kind of funny.)

No, it wasn’t the same chair or area of the room. But still, it’s a weird coincidence. Twice in one day? So weird!

Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “OMG, it happened in third period too!” But it didn’t. Instead, one of my students (walking from the Kleenex box back to his chair) accidentally interrupted the review session by getting his foot caught in the cord that raises and lowers the mini-blinds on my classroom windows. He didn’t know what had happened at first, so he turned around – in the wrong direction – and inadvertently released the mechanism that holds the blinds in place. The blinds began to lower on their own, which caused the cord to wind up into the top, which caused the boy’s foot and leg to be pulled higher and higher into the air, which caused him to lose his balance and put his arms out and hop forward a little, which allowed the cord to pull his foot even higher… until he looked like a very uncomfortable ballerina.

He was okay; I thought it was crazy, hilarious… and a really creepy coincidence.


Thursday
Today, one of our district behavior specialists came to observe the same boy who was hoping the school would burn down during detention on Tuesday. The boy in question managed to sit quietly, answer questions appropriately, and finish his assignment completely. The poor behavior specialist looked aggravated and will probably have to repeat the observation some other day; his observation was supposed to be about the behaviors that lead to this student getting kicked out and sent to another classroom. How crazy... I wonder if the specialist now thinks this kid is fine. I wonder even more what made the difference in the kid's behavior.

I think maybe crazy is the theme for this week. At the school board meeting tonight, one of the teachers presented to the board by performing a very creative rap while he beat-boxed his own rap rhythm. After his performance (and the crowd went wild), the school board chairwoman scolded him for it, saying the community didn’t appreciate rap and would probably be offended by that. She’s obviously not familiar with the west end of the school district, which, for you Portland natives, includes the fashionable and luxurious Rockwood area. I don’t even know what else to say about this; it’s just too crazy.


Friday
And the crazy continues…
I had to get a sub today because I was called into all-day contract negotiations. It was an insane day to have a sub. During homeroom, we were supposed to take our classes out to line the main hall of the school so that we could cheer on our Lifeskills class as they departed for the regional Special Olympics. During 3rd period, seven of my students were supposed to escort 5th graders around on their tour of the school. During 5th period, we were supposed to have an earthquake drill. We’re still collecting progress reports, each class is supposed to go to the library mid-way through class, and my kids are taking a massive quiz today. My teaching partner (who is also my buddy classroom) is gone today as well, and there are eight other subs in the building. How could this possibly be a worse day for a substitute? (Don't answer that; it's a rhetorical question.)

*After a long and arduous day of negotiations and caucuses and proposals and counter proposals, I decided to go home. So I don’t actually know how it went with the sub. I’m now sitting out in my backyard garden, watching my dogs browse among the rosemary, and I just can’t bring myself to care that much. I’ll worry about this on Monday.