Does Our Insurance Cover Personality Transplants?

Ack… This is still upsetting to me. I have no idea how this happened, but Big Dog did something weird and painful to his back this morning and ended up in horrible pain, all twisted and crumply on the bed. I can’t stand it when my dogs are in pain; it absolutely rips my heart out. The punch line of this story is actually funny, but in order to understand the incredulity we felt upon hearing that punch line, you have to know how upsetting and traumatic our morning was. So Big Dog was quivering in a crumply heap, with a racing heartbeat and shallow breathing. Mr. Chandler immediately called the vet, and – miraculously – they were open this morning. He took Big Dog to the vet, where they pumped the dog full of painkillers and sedatives in order to examine and X-ray him. The vet said they thought Big Dog had ruptured the cushion (cartilage?) between some of his lower back vertebrae. It sounded a lot like a slipped disc to me, but I may have been mentally trying to understand by associating it with something familiar. No surgery required, fortunately, and as long as we take some precautions, Big Dog’s back should heal on its own.

Now, if I haven’t explained this clearly before now, let me paint a picture of Big Dog’s personality for you: Big Dog can be a very sweet, very cuddly dog, and he likes a good ear-scratch as much as the next canine. He likes to sleep under the covers, draped across my feet, and if I move my legs in the night, he follows and makes sure he’s still in contact with me by scooting over to lie up against my legs and feet again. He likes everyone and every thing he meets. (Seriously, he would make a terrible guard dog. He’d make friends with the burglar.) HOWEVER… Big Dog also has a wild-and-crazy side. He is a Harrier Beagle, and Harriers are bred to chase (and catch) wild rabbits. The breed is known for their running stamina and will often chase for so long that their prey eventually gives up from exhaustion. (No joke. It’s in the breed description.) Around our house, we’ve always been amused by the way he “exercises” himself. He’ll run around in circles or run laps around the living room or the backyard if he doesn’t get enough activity on our walks. As I’ve said before, he considers Little Dog to be his personal chew toy and takes great pleasure in goading Little Dog into wrestling with him. And, holy cow, this dog can JUMP. He’s both impressive and a little scary in his ability to jump over things or jump to reach things. He’s like the mutant offspring of Road Runner and a Gummy Bear. (That’s a Gummy Bear from the cartoon show, not the candy. They had a song and everything: “Gummy Bears… bouncing here and there and everywhere…” Never mind. You had to be a kid watching cartoons in the 1980's to understand.)

Anyway, this is my dog. He’s crazy. And the vet says to Mr. Chandler, “He needs to take it easy for 3 weeks. No wild-and-crazy running around.” Seriously?!

He’s going to give us sedatives, right? Oh, and can we get something for the dog, too?